Skin In The Game

Ricky and I were the same age.  We both were struggling with the ins and outs of new parenthood.  I had a boy, he a girl.  Yet my gray coat hid the mildly protuberant abdomen, while his belly bulged into his t-shirt and formed a barrier between us.  He was at least a hundred pounds over weight.  And I, as his physician, wasn't going to pas up the opportunity to counsel on healthy living. 

Once a year, Ricky waltzed into my office for his annual.  Over time, I had noticed how his height stayed the same, but his weight kept growing.  He now fell into the category of morbidly obese.  I breached the subject of diets.  He preferred Atkins,  I preferred Weight Watchers. We discussed different methods of keeping active.  I suggested family walks with the little one in a stroller.

As the conversation progressed, I couldn't help but feel a dysphoric twinge in the pit of my stomach.  I shifted my weight in the chair.  My size thirty six pants were starting to get a little too tight. I absentmindedly wiped the edges of my mouth in order to make sure no remnants of the fast food I ate for lunch were left in plain view.

I was a hypocrite.  My girth had ballooned since medical school.  My eating habits were poor, and I lived a sedentary lifestyle.  Why ever should Ricky listen to me?  I decided to try a different angle.  I cleared my throat before speaking.

You know what?  I could do this better too.  Why don't we work together?

We put our heads down, and a few minutes later had a plan that we could live by.  Ricky would join Weight Watchers and swim three times a week, and I would cut out the fast food and walk every day.  The office visit ended with a sense of camaraderie and shared mission.

*

My son will turn eight in October.  I have no idea what came of Ricky.  The last time I saw him, he had lost over seventy five pounds.  His blood pressure was better, and he stopped all his diabetes medications.  I lost track of him after he moved to another city.

And me?  I dropped twenty pounds and now sport a comfortable size thirty two waist.  I walk everyday.

Ricky taught me so much about the practice of medicine without even knowing it.  I now know that to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk.

More importantly, over the years I've learned one essential truth.  For this doctor-patient relationship thing to work,

we have to all be in it together.