So Be It

I never had that much of an audience.  When I started my first blog in 2006, I would be overjoyed if my site meter counted over ten visits a day.  So I was used to being a quiet, if not lonely, small voice in the vast Internet.  Occasionally a kind word was proffered, criticism was rare.  From time to time, I would publish on a controversial topic, and then the fangs would come out.  A series of posts on physician assistants and nurse practitioners received a number of lowbrow assaults on my character.  But I accepted this as part of the process.  Sometimes there are casualties in the war of ideas.

When I started utilizing twitter, there was an uptick in my following.  I got even more attention when my posts were reprinted on KevinMD.  I realized quickly that along with exposure comes an increase in criticism.  Again, being a mature adult this was nothing that I couldn't handle.

I have said in the past that I live in a world of words, but actually I was inaccurate.  In reality, I live in a world of ideas.  Ideas that often come so fast that I am rushing to place pencil on page (fingertips on keyboard).  Translating emotion and the world of imagination to physical form is awkward.  Ideas are transient, the markings on the computer screen are more or less permanent. 

I have never professed myself to be grammarian or a spelling bee wizard.  So when I started to get blog comments correcting my posts, I took little notice.  You can assume that if it was missed by the spell checker, it was missed by me.  No harm, no foul.

Recently a commenter on one of my posts on KevinMD wrote:

I don't want to seem rude or condescending, but is this post a joke? A physician wrote this borderline illiterate and inaccurate essay? Typos happen and are just human. But this is egregious. Publishing a piece like this, riddled with the most elementary spelling errors ( "vane" instead of vein, "message" instead of massage, "bored" instead of board) and ridiculously mixed metaphors ("And like a blind man whose cataracts had just been removed, I once was lost but now couldsee.")seriously diminishes the credibility of this otherwise wonderful website.

I take this statement personally.  I thought about trying to explain how I am a full time doctor, father, husband, and owner of a number of small businesses.  Or tell of how I only have an hour to write each day.

These are just excuses.

I could write less frequently and spend more time editing.  Or maybe writing for the public is just an act of futility in the first place.  I could stop.

But that wouldn't make me happy.

I write this way because the maddening stream of emotion, jubilation, anger, and hurt come so fast that I fear pausing will result in a missed opportunity.

A commenter once noted that my spelling errors will detract from my message.  He lamented that many would stumble on semantics and miss the importance of the post.

My reply is simple.  I am who I am.  When you read my blog posts you see me: scars, blemishes, misspellings, awkward analogies and all.  I'm far from perfect.

If that makes you want to close your browser and never return to my blog again,

so be it.