Dr Wes said a few words and then we settled in for the movie. A documentary. the crowd was about one third physicians. The others undoubtedly physician supporters. Family, friends, nurses, hospital staff.
Of course it was preaching to the crowd. A story of a physician who found doctoring much less then expected. Stressful, time consuming, frustrating. So rarely did he feel like he was doing what he went to medical school to do...helping his fellow man.
Some in the crowd shook their head in agreement. Others nodded vigorously in disapproval.
And the lights came up. Dr Wes said a few more words. Then Nancy Pando asked the physicians in the room to stand. Reluctantly men and woman arose and looked around. Then something unexpected happened. The crowd started to applause. Loudly and with exuberance.
And briefly I felt profound pride in myself and my profession.
Sadly this gratifying moment was quickly overshadowed by a sobering realization.
Although I cant explain why......lately I feel something completely different in relation to being a physician...
overwhelming shame.
It's none of my business, of course. But your last sentence ...
ReplyDeleteI recognize, as a well-informed patient who never got closer to doctoring than second-year preMed, that the 'medical business' can overwhelm the work that so drew me to try to qualify.
But ... shame?
Can you say more about that? If not to us, to somebody?
Ditto the previous comment.
ReplyDeleteYou show so much caring in your writing, I have the impression that your patients see that side of you as you spend time listening and helping them.
Ditto on northlighthero's comment. As a premed nontraditional student, I am very interested in the views of practicing physicians. I frequently read accounts of severe frustration, overwhelming stress, and general dissatisfaction among physicians. I have never come across shame. I hope you can elaborate on that for us. Where do think shame comes from? Is it because of the way many in the general public view doctors today? Or is it caused by more than just that?
ReplyDeleteDitto on northlighthero's comment. As a premed nontraditional student, I am very interested in the views of practicing physicians. I frequently read accounts of severe frustration, overwhelming stress, and general dissatisfaction among physicians. I have never come across shame. I hope you can elaborate on that for us. Where do think shame comes from? Is it because of the way many in the general public view doctors today? Or is it caused by more than just that?
ReplyDelete