Sunday, November 28, 2010


It usually happens after missed sleep. Whether it be the children or a night on call. The first sensation is a an awkward unease. A strange feeling in my eyes.

As my vision skews my mind races to the likely possibility of another headache. I look straight ahead. Lines? Images blur as letters disappear from words. Out of the corner of my right eye... pulsating. Like a disco ball or blinking light whose intensity varies by from second to second. Lightning flashes in and out of my visual field. There is no pain yet. Just the dull, obnoxious feeling...adrift.

By now inevitability. The fear is replaced by resolve. I mentally calculate. How much work is left in the day? How long in the car? I ransack the office for Tylenol. Ibuprofen. If I can I take two of both. As the visual symptoms fade I get ready for the numbing pain.

I used to take triptans but not so much lately. Usually the otc's help enough.

I continue work.....or whatever I am doing. But in slow motion. Like operating a fog. As if I had been hit on the head with a baseball bat. The original thud didn't kill me....but a dull, pulsating, heaviness affects my every movement. My every thought.

And I wait helpless. Till the pain goes away. Till the day ends. Till I am lucky enough..... to fall asleep.

No comments: