Saturday, December 18, 2010

Time Waits For No One

We sold it. Katie and I. Leila's Crib.

It had been sitting. Stuffed in the corner. For the last year. After Leila got her "big girl bed" and learned how to awake in the middle of the night and wreak havoc on the household.

At first it was just laziness. We kept planning to sell but never got around to it. Then finally the add was placed on Craigslist. And the days passed and no interest. It was a beautiful crib. Pristine condition. Stylish.

So eventually we dropped the price and re listed a few times. Nothing for days....and then an email. They wanted to see it. They would be right over.

A young couple. First child. Last few months of pregnancy. They eyed the crib up and down as Leila tried to initiate conversation and Cameron ran to get his pottery. But it only took a minute to decide. They would take it.

Quickly I got the tools and started to disassemble. Leila's home. For the first two years of life. There was a flurry of activity. Unscrewing....lifting...carrying. Money was exchanged and we wished the couple well.

As they amble slowly through our front door carrying various pieces of furniture it hits me. We sold Leila's crib! My mind flashes forward to a much later time. Nursing home bound my addled brain struggling through dementia's cobwebs. I become agitated from time to time and the nursing staff hands me a baby doll. The studies show that it calms demented people to care for a pretend child.

I will hold the doll thinking that it is Leila and wander aimlessly through the nursing home. Searching for a crib to lay her down for her afternoon nap. Except that I won't find it....because I sold it. On Craigslist.

And as I stare out the window at the young pregnant women carefully placing the deconstructed crib in the back of her truck I feel great regret.

Because even now before my brain ages and becomes entombed in the plaques and tangles of senility I can't escape the basic fact:

No matter how bad I want it to....

time waits for no one.

1 comment:

Ashley Wendel said...

Dr. Grumet, you are a beautiful writer. Thank you for your open and honest approach to things, medical and not. We too just moved our daughter (our second, and our last) to her "big girl bed" this past week - and yes, the havoc is ensuing - and I am also feeling the pang of loss around dismantling her crib. Hers still sits in the garage in pieces,and I don't know if I will be able to take the step of listing in on Craigslist. It was the first home for both our children, and I feel that we'll probably have it around somewhere until they are grown and gone from us.

I found your blog through a posting on a physician community blog that I write on, called FreelanceMD. Your writings are a wonderful change of pace, and I will certainly be back to read more.