Thursday, April 25, 2013

Jordan Grumet Interviews Himself, Again

I caught up with Jordan Grumet, physician, Internet entrepreneur, writer, and overall man of mystery in a secluded corner of Panera Bread Company.

Q: Jordan, this is the third in a series of self interviews over the last two years for this blog.  Tell me, is anyone else (present company excluded), interested in what your doing?

A: Actually, my life story was recently presented to a distinguished group just last week.

Q: And how was it received?

A: My son's second grade teacher said he did a really stellar job!

Q: Um...OK.  You recently were featured in Mike Sevilla's Family Medicine Rock's online radio show.  How did it feel to be interviewed by a social media legend?  And tell us about your new practice.

A:  Mike is the real thing.  His voice, his interview skills, it's like being on Oprah (I know you're out there O.  You haven't returned my calls yet!)

I'm really excited about the upcoming changes.  As of January 2014, I will no longer be seeing patients in the office.  Instead, for a about a tenth of my current population (250), I'll be doing comprehensive primary care from the comfort of their own home.  I'll charge members a yearly fee to allow myself to break the economic bonds forced by Medicare.

Q: What prompted you to make the change?

A: Medicare, healthcare reform, medicare, medicare, and healthcare reform

Q: Explain?

A: The delusional administrative and regulatory requirements by our governmental agencies are hampering basic medical care.  We our losing sight of our patients, and spending time and energy bowing to the electronic dictates of an insatiable monster.

Becoming a master diagnostician is an ideal that takes a hundred percent commitment.  Every click, form, and ridiculous constraint takes our eye off the ball.

By collecting the funds required to support myself completely outside the system, I will for once be free.  Medicare can do what it wants. 

C'est la vie!

Q: Is it true, that you are also starting an Internet business?

A: Yes.  What I enjoy most about being a physician is helping people make complex decisions.  As most of us know, our healthcare system has been so perverted that we can no longer count on our own personal doctor to guide us through medical care.  What with meaningful use, HIPAA, and completing yet another idiotic MOC (maintainence of certification requirement by the ABIM), who has time to spend hours with patients and their families making complex decisions?

CrisisMD does!  We provide healthcare coaching, advocacy, and interpretation.  We are not your doctor.  We don't diagnose, examine, or treat.  We translate.

Make no mistake.  When you arrive at the doctor's office or the hospital, you are entering a foreign land.  The language may sound familiar, but it's not what you speak at home!

Q: Wow!  With all these balls up in the air, how do you have time to sleep?

(A crash is heard, Jordan has dozed off and fallen forward into his lukewarm bowl of broccoli cheddar soup).

Q: That's a wrap.  Somebody get this poor slob a towel and clean him up.


Anonymous said...

So Mista, you've been out on your own for 9 years already. How's business? Guess you WILL be needing to hire me to take care of "stuff" for you then... :)


Unknown said...

Broccoli Cheddar soup! Shame.

Unknown said...

Broccoli Cheddar soup? Shame!

Caspase 3 antibody said...


Maggie said...

Where do you practice, geographically? I find myself wondering if I've just found the perfect doctor ... or are you not taking new patients?